He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
