How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
