ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
