you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
