Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
