I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize