Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
