omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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