she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
