just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
