Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
