Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
