the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just had sex on a roof
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
