i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
