fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
