Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
