this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think your dad took our porno
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
