Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
