Soap is not a condiment
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We just shotgunned beers for America
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
