i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
