Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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