My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
