Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
