i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fuck appropriateness.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize