Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize