Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
