A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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