He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
