I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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