He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
