I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
