And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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