Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
