Farmville is her only friend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
