you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
