It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
