Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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