I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
