the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
