office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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