Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Omg I joined a choir last night...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
