it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
