Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
