Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize