I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
