Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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