dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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