You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
