Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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