Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
