two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
