What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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