I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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