I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
