I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Jerry, you need to find god
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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