I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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