and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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