I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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