I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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