i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
