By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize