Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
