just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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