We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
