matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
