you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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