Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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